“Why?” The word hung in the air like a leaden rain cloud until he added, “I mean, you left seven years ago, got remarried…” He stopped, suddenly aware of her hands, hands that had once given him such pleasure, but were now twisting in her lap, knuckles squeezed white. “What is it?”
“We’re…not married anymore. He’s dead.”
The words came out of her mouth flat, smooth like finished cement. Naat was surprised that her statement seemed to numb him. He had once been jealous of her affairs, angry at her eventual betrayal, but this news didn’t make his stomach tremble, didn’t make his heart quiver. He wondered if he was really awake yet. “So, what happened?”
“It was one of the Wester bombs. Middle of the night. We were still up; we were…arguing. Part of the roof caved in. Somehow, all the pieces missed me, but he was…crushed.” She had relaxed her fingers. Colour was returning.
He knew he should express sympathy for her loss, give her the kind of reassurance that had once come so easily, but his tongue was deadened, his brain still anesthetised by the wailing klaxons announcing the early morning bomb-raid, his thoughts scrambled after spending the better part of two hours huddled in the dark of the cellar. Eventually he asked, “What were you arguing about?”
Teea turned toward the window, the emerging sun beginning to swallow the night shadows on the Wall. “He really hated the Westers.”
“I suppose it’s normal to hate the people who are lobbing bombs at us.”
She turned toward Naat, her face striated, tense. “You don’t understand. He didn’t just hate them as enemies. He hated them as people. He wanted to hurt them, make them suffer. He talked endlessly about ways he would inflict pain on any Wester he could ever get his hands on. His thoughts were sick, sadistic. I had never seen this in him before. It scared me.
“為什么?”這個(gè)詞掛在空中，就像是一片沉悶的雨云。接著他補(bǔ)充說，“我的意思是，你七年前離開，結(jié)婚……”他停下來，突然意識(shí)到她的手、那曾經(jīng)給他如此快樂的手，正在她的大腿上攥著、擰著，指關(guān)節(jié)處都?jí)喊琢��！霸趺椿厥�？�?/p>
“我們……沒有婚姻了。他死了�！�
話從她嘴里說出來平平的，光滑得就像打磨過的水泥地面。納特很驚訝，她的話似乎對(duì)他有麻木功能。他曾經(jīng)嫉妒她和別的男人有染,憤怒她最終的背叛,但這個(gè)消息并沒有讓他的胃抽搐,并沒有讓他的心顫抖。他想知道他是不是真的醒著�！澳敲�，發(fā)生了什么事？”
“是一枚威斯特人的炸彈。半夜里。我們還沒睡；我們還在……爭論。屋頂?shù)囊徊糠痔聛�。不知何故，我沒有被砸著，但他卻被壓碎了�！彼砷_了手，關(guān)節(jié)處的顏色恢復(fù)正常。
他知道，他應(yīng)該對(duì)她的損失表達(dá)同情,給她寬慰，那是他以前輕而易舉就能做到的,但他的舌頭像死了一樣，大腦像是被一大早尖叫的炸彈報(bào)警喇叭震得失去了知覺。雖然在黑暗的地窖里卷縮了兩小時(shí)還不賴，但思想還是一片混亂。最終，他問道：“你們爭論什么?”
提婭轉(zhuǎn)頭看著窗外。太陽正在升起，慢慢吞噬著那堵墻上夜的陰影�！八娴暮尥固厝�。”
“我想這很正常。他們正在向我們丟炸彈。”
她轉(zhuǎn)向納特，臉上開始出現(xiàn)皺褶,表情緊張。“你不明白。他恨的是那個(gè)民族,而不僅僅因?yàn)樗麄兪菙橙�。他想要傷害他們，讓他們�(cè)馐軗p失。他沒完沒了地談?wù)撘恍┱勰ネ固厝说姆椒�，只要他能上手。他的思想是病態(tài)的、虐待狂式的。以前我從未在他身上見過這一點(diǎn)。它讓我害怕。
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